Thursday, August 28, 2008

Beginnings, Blessings and Being.

So today is the day I shall share…71 days…pregnant.

Scared. Nervous. Anxious. Excited. Scared.

I have a flurry of emotions, the hormone party I am currently hosting is to blame for the most part. But above that, I have always known my body, when something was wrong I knew what, how to fix it, which Doctor to call, which medicine to take. Now that I am sharing this body I am scared. I am scared that I do not know anything, that I might mess up the very thing I have been trying so hard to make happen. I have a niece and 3 nephews. I have watched my sisters thrive in their pregnancies and have watched many friends have beautiful babies. I keep thinking “just stay and grow” as if my body, the one I have know so well may turn on me and allow he\she to simply walk away.

I am focusing on the positive, preparing for each new trimester, first over now onto the second. One down two to go. I guess my thinking is normal. I guess I fear that speaking these thoughts to my friends and family will make me seem na├»ve or depressed or negative. So I type because it is less intimidating and honestly I don’t think or feel that I am naive or depressed or negative.

I am beginning my 2nd trimester. I am blessed. I am very blessed, and I am happy. But right now I think I am just Scared. Nervous. Anxious. Excited. Scared. and for right now on this 71st day that is how I am...that is me.

~S

Monday, August 4, 2008

Stress...

I travel everyday over this bridge...to and from work, it is why I have road rage, or bridge rage as it is often referred. But every now and then, the beauty of the water and the bridge captivate me. I have witnessed the most amazing fog, that lies directly above the water and makes you question what is below. However, this weekend was definitely a tough bridge weekend. Saturday required a trip to the "Western Shore" to go to the Doctor at 10AM. The traffic heading back across was a good 2 hour back up. Crazy! So I visited with friends, browsed a couple of my favorite shops and then picked up my husband at the airport and headed home at 9 PM. Days like Saturday make me ram my head on the steering wheel as to why we moved over the bridge.

Then yesterday as if God heard my cry of possible insanity he gave a day of glory and made the picture abundantly clear as to why we moved...



As if he said "relax...take a load off". So I did. It was a perfectly relaxing Sunday, the sun, my hammock and a book!

Hope everyone had an amazing weekend! ~S