Wednesday, October 22, 2008

And so it goes...

I have two sisters, one sister in law and three brother in laws, a big melting pot of extended family that puts the fun in dysfunction.

My family (two sisters and one of the brother in laws) live in Louisville. My husband’s family is closer, here in Maryland and one brother in law is even closer, as in, here…staying in my home.

This along with being 4 and ½ months pregnant is my current struggle. My brother in law is an addict. He was doing great in a program but he lost his way and fell off that bumpy wagon and my husband was quickly called to scoop him up into the safety of our home. It has been 11 long days of worrying and anxiety.

He has stayed with us before. It ended badly. Drugs, a prostitute, my guest bedroom and a warrant were involved.

This is my frame of reference, this is the corner of my mind from where I draw the conclusion to my questions of “what to expect”. I have been supportive, well semi-supportive of my husband, my brother in law is still in our home. I am beginning to resent my brother in law. He has not attempted to help himself once since arriving. He has not had a drink, and while this IS a big step for an addict, I cannot help but think that being a recluse in your brother’s home is any way to help work on the real problem.

The “where to next” has not been defined. My husband and I fight nightly and either the baby is growing at a rapid speed or I have an ulcer.

My family is in Louisville. I think about going. I can’t. I won’t. But right now, in my own home I feel I am the one with the problem.