Sailing...takes me away to where I'm going...

I just returned from a loooong weekend in Florida, a friends baby shower allowed some time away from the norm for Matt, Avery Grace and I.   Some time in the sun, a dip of my toes in the warm ocean and some solid reflection of  days passed.  

I lived in Florida for almost 2 years, a lucrative corporate purchase landed me in the sunshine state, and allowed me to meet some amazing people, all the while hating the job and pondering my place in life.  The thought of that free spirit crept into my brain the entire trip.  I had no worries.  I was in all accounts a kid right out of college and living my life like I wanted. For me.  I could do no wrong.  Until I realized that I had already been the kid out of college, I had already lived "that" life.  Florida allowed me to want more, allowed me to think long and hard about the path my life was taking.  I appreciate the opportunity it afforded me, in the life department,  the career department was a bust, but I have more now than I could have ever achieved trying to climb a ladder.   I have my amazing little family, I have a beautiful house and the ability to think freely.  I miss my friends like CRAZY!  Calling the girls for last minute happy hour OR dinner at the house was a gift.  I treasure my memories.  I look forward to visits and more memories, and I thank the state of beaches, blue hairs and big fake boobs for the friends and gifts it has given me.

"I can't wait"

I find myself thinking this thought often, little things, I can't wait for the weekend, the evening when my husband gets off work, the storm to pass, to big things...like I can't wait to see what kind of girl my baby will be, what kind of teenager, woman, mother...I think we all are guilty of wishing for the future so that we can know the outcome, not to change, but to appreciate.   I have to take a moment when the "can't waits" creep up on me and think that each day I have to teach and raise and just stare at my daughter are the best days of my life, I would never wish to wish them away.  I can wait, this face is worth the wait.

and so are these toes!

WHEW...what a journey!

My body is no longer stretched to capacity...

But my heart has never been so full...
Avery Grace was born on April 1st, after an induction that did not take and a weekend full of contractions, she finally decided that she would make her 6.15 pounds debut! Taking time away from all venues to get adjusted to my new life has been exactly what I needed. She has all of my attention and I am so glad that she is happy and healthy and stylin...

Matt and I have not totally gotten used to the sleep schedule but we are getting closer. She is such a great baby! I am hoping to continue to work from home and who knows maybe start a new venture that would require no office time! For now I am just enjoying being mommy to my girl!

~S

Still Kicking...

Time flies when you are having fun, or anxiously waiting and getting bigger by the minute! I am about 20 days away from my due date and truly hoping that this little girl is excited about getting out and not a procrastinator (as her mother tends to be!). She is "in the position" and ready to go so I am thinking in the next 2 weeks we will get to see her beautiful face!
This is me at 37 weeks...whew...I AM READY!

Funny how this side shot makes me look so much smaller than I acutally am or at least feel. I will try to be more diligent about posting, I have just been swamped with working and getting her room ready, which is turning out better than I even expected!

Have a great weekend! ~S

Back from the...

I am back. Two weeks with my family and feeling rejuvenated. I am ready for these final 11 weeks. I am feeling the pressure of the “to do” list but ready to conquer it and get the house (as well as myself) baby ready.

I am not on the New Year…new resolution band wagon. I whole heartily believe in setting goals and a new year does allow for new reflections, however with me, I think I have my hands full with enough new for a couple of years. This year I am sticking to just being the best mom I can be, I think the rest will work itself out. Here is a little 3-D shot of my baby girl, these "insider" shots can be a little creepy but her little face is so sweet, I cannot help but be in love.

~S

Baby Girl...

She has her hand resting on her forehead as if to say "enough already...darn paparazzi." I am so excited. I cannot wait until March 26th, which happens to be my mom's birthday. I know that the date is not set in stone and she will make her glorious presence whenever she feels the need, but it is fun to say that she will be Granna's gift.

My husband and I returned from New York last week and had a wonderful time. Thank you Courtney for all of your recommendations. We were there only 3 days but felt like a week! We took in a show and basically ate our way through the city. It was exhilarating to see the marathon and all of the cheering friends and family members in Central Park.

It was good to return to a quiet home after the busy city. My house guest made his leave before we departed, which I hope goes well for him. I pray that we all find our way.

And so it goes...

I have two sisters, one sister in law and three brother in laws, a big melting pot of extended family that puts the fun in dysfunction.

My family (two sisters and one of the brother in laws) live in Louisville. My husband’s family is closer, here in Maryland and one brother in law is even closer, as in, here…staying in my home.

This along with being 4 and ½ months pregnant is my current struggle. My brother in law is an addict. He was doing great in a program but he lost his way and fell off that bumpy wagon and my husband was quickly called to scoop him up into the safety of our home. It has been 11 long days of worrying and anxiety.

He has stayed with us before. It ended badly. Drugs, a prostitute, my guest bedroom and a warrant were involved.

This is my frame of reference, this is the corner of my mind from where I draw the conclusion to my questions of “what to expect”. I have been supportive, well semi-supportive of my husband, my brother in law is still in our home. I am beginning to resent my brother in law. He has not attempted to help himself once since arriving. He has not had a drink, and while this IS a big step for an addict, I cannot help but think that being a recluse in your brother’s home is any way to help work on the real problem.

The “where to next” has not been defined. My husband and I fight nightly and either the baby is growing at a rapid speed or I have an ulcer.

My family is in Louisville. I think about going. I can’t. I won’t. But right now, in my own home I feel I am the one with the problem.